People stay channeled in their thinking by listening only to others who have opinions and points of view that resonate with their own. By avoiding dissonance, the anxiety or confusion resulting from exposure to "strange" ideas, we end up recycling and regurgitating the same information over and over again.
This is why the launching of Karen Hughes' "Listening Tour" is a gesture that should not go unnoticed by Muslim Americans. Nor should it be left unreciprocated.
At least by name, a "Listening Tour" has the ring of Stephen Covey's 5th Habit, "Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood." Listening leads to understanding the other. It also builds the other's trust in you. According to Covey, one of the key benefits of empathic listening is that you can learn how others' perceptions differ from your own. This is how Muslim Americans can break out of the repetitive processes of thought and (in)action that lead us to the frustrating result of not feeling understood.
If you were a car salesman and nobody was buying your vehicles, even though they were of excellent quality and price, would you blame the customer?
Though Muslims may be skeptical of Hughes' and the Bush administration's intentions in the "Listening Tour," we can still ask what we have done along these very same lines. Trying to help others understand Islam and Muslims is not listening; it's broadcasting our own ideas and opinions. The current state of affairs is that both sides have been shouting past each other in an attempt to persuade the other to see it their way. For obvious reasons, this has not worked.
Muslim Americans must take on the role of seeking to understand their fellow Americans' concerns about the Muslim community. We don't do this because we're afraid of what we might hear. Nevertheless, we should approach the situation as empathic listeners, taking in everything that others have to say about us without defending, correcting, or arguing. Afterwards, we must be able to reflect back to them not only their ideas but also the feelings, whether fear, anger or frustration, associated with their thoughts. This is how we can grow to understand other viewpoints. It is also how we can let them know we care enough about them to understand.
Seeking to understand, and successfully expressing that understanding back to Non-Muslim Americans contributes to expanding the Muslim American Circle of Influence. We must be sincere, however, and not merely go through the motions of listening so that we can, in turn, get to a hidden agenda of "educating Americans about Islam" or "convincing them that their policy towards the Palestinians is unfair."
We want Americans to understand Islam, but first they should understand Muslims. That is not likely to happen until Muslims take positive steps towards understanding Americans and America.
